Last Monday, my friend Ice was agonizing over a short story due the same day that she hasn’t even started writing yet. It was for her majors class; the requirements, as she relayed to me, are as follows:
- It should be a children’s short story;
- It should contain a moral lesson;
- It should be related to Accounting;
- It must contain some form of sacrifice, coming from any character in the story.
I suggested a bunch of things, but my main point was that she should just base her story from an existing fairy tale and incorporate the requisites in it, so that she won’t have a hard time thinking about what plot to use. I started from Disney princesses which she rejected – I personally like them, but she hates their helplessness. At one point I mentioned Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves, with the thieves auditing their loot after noticing that some of the items were missing. She cracked up on this, so I insisted on We met after I found out that my 9:40 class was cancelled, and separated only a few minutes before twelve. I then hung out with Aira, who I think I already introduced in another entry. While we were chilling at LS I received a call from panicky Ice, who I left alone to do her homework (or was it a graded thing? I never really confirmed). She told me she was about to compose that story of hers, but a problem cropped up with a project she’s handling (and stressing over for a long time now). Obviously she wouldn’t be able to fix the paperwork needed and at the same time write her homework, so she asked for my help. After much convincing (on Aira’s part, but it was funny so whatever), we went towards Ice.
I initially thought that he had already started working on it, because I saw her typing away on her laptop. When she faced the laptop to Aira and I, it was blank~ -_- Well, so was my mind. I kept laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation (together with Aira), because the story was due for Ice’s class that was about to start after a few minutes (well, maybe an hour). She was resolved to attending late to finish everything, and so, Aira and I got to work. Since I had the gist of the story mapped out in my mind, I wrote the story while accepting suggestions from Aira. But her suggestions were… unconventional. I kept laughing while writing though so a lot of the parts would NOT probably make sense. Or maybe you’re as weird as we are, so you’ll immediately get it. You’ll notice that the story looks rushed, and generally makes less sense Anyway, here’s our brainchild which was made over an hour or so (but Aira would then point out we made this at about 30 minutes; also, the last sentence sounds wrong -you don’t have to tell me).
On a faraway land, there was a kid named R. He was an orphan of poor descent; his parents died when he was just two years old because of famine, and he was left to live with other orphans. Now that he is ten years old, he stands as the big brother for the other kids left alone by their parents. They live off scavenging for food from other people’s garbage, and begging. Some of the older kids steal, but R is against this. One day, he encountered a group of suspicious men so he decided to follow them by climbing trees so he won’t be seen because he felt they were up to no good. They stopped in front of a wall; R wondered why, but was surprised because one of the men shouted “Wazzap yo!” and the wall opened. He realized that the wall was actually a door for a magical cave. The suspicious men went inside, and left after a few minutes. Another man shouted “Yo mama!” and the door closed. R was curious about what the magical cave was all about. He tried shouting to the wall, “Wazzap yo!” and the cave opened. Inside, he discovered lots and lots of treasures. The men were thieves! He realized. There was even a blue lagoon in the far of corner of the cave with a lion braiding a mermaid’s hair. He asked the mermaid, “What is this place? Why are you here?” The mermaid said, “This is a magical place with magical charms. And I am the keeper of said magical charms.” “Oh.” R replied. He was confused with the mermaid’s train of thought, so he left her alone. He was amazed by the stuff inside the cave – there were crowns, jewels, treasure chests and hundreds and hundreds of coins! At first he was guilty for getting some of the jewels, but afterwards he felt so hungry and saw the other orphans begging for food so he took some of the treasures little by little. Now, the suspicious men noticed that there were some loot missing; thus, they audited they belongings
(bahala ka nang mang-bullshit )). And they found they were right! There were some missing. They asked the mermaid and confirmed that a little boy was going in and out of the cave, taking some of the treasures with him. They tried catching R, but R thought of changing the cave’s password. So before he was chased by the thieves, he trapped them inside the cave by shouting “Yo mama!” The thieves tried opening the cave again, but little did they know the password was already changed to “Dingleberries!”. So the thieves were trapped inside the cave and R and the other orphans lived happily together. The end.
It was already 1:30,and I was still working on this story midway. Ice’s class started at 1, so we stuck to her initial plan of going to class 30 minutes late – ideally, with the already finished story. But given that the material was insufficient, I just told her to go there and let Aira and I finish the story from where we sitting. After ten minutes I received another panicky text to send the file to her immediately. It sounded so urgent that I panicked myself -_- later, I found out that there was ample time for me to finish the story. Which is exactly what I’m planning to do in the near future. Anyway, I told her to give me ten minutes. Which eventually turned into twenty. We were looking for an available hotspot, running from 2nd floor LS building to Henry Sy Hall. Still no wi-fi, damn it. We then agreed to split the tasks; I go back to LS to hide Ice’s laptop, while Aira goes to the library to send the file. After a couple of minutes, when I thought the file was already sent, I get a text from Aira saying there wasn’t Internet connection inside the library either. I panic again. Then I remember that only the sixth floor was wired among all the floors; I tell her this. After one hour of this debacle we finally send the story – via Facebook.
I heard from my friend that this story was received warmly by her classmates. But actually the main selling point was the line “bahala ka nang mang-bullshit”. Since this was a crammed assignment I made for Ice (I have to stop “helping” her out), there are a lot to be desired content-wise. Even the professor noticed that the last parts seemed unfinished and cut short. Which was what exactly happened.
I don’t really know how to end this, so let’s just cut this one short. Like the short story 😥