5 Seemingly Non-Life Altering Lessons Learned During My Semester Abroad

I love this list. I myself want a chance to be able to travel someday (and hopefully settle somewhere for an extended period of time) and so this article speaks to me. Dear future Marj, are you reading this? Please hang on to that dream.

Thought Catalog

It’s the classic stereotype. Students from top-50 universities in the U.S. who take a semester or two overseas don’t do anything worthwhile.

I’ve seen it all over the Internet: 20-year-old white girl studies abroad and suddenly thinks she’s cultured. Clubbing, taking advantage of the under-21 drinking age, and rendezvousing with foreigners are all Americans know how to do in Europe. And then, in four months, we come back loaded with filtered Instagram photos of our fancy cappuccinos in European coffee shops and far too many selfies with famous statues and tell everyone how, quote, “Study abroad was amazing.”

The truth is that a lot of American college students embark on the study abroad journey for no particular reason except that they want to experience living in a different country. To many people, this isn’t a satisfying enough reason.

Well, there is no right or wrong way to “do” study abroad…

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Painfully In Love

Well, this has been… painful. Though I think it largely applies to unrequited love (ouch), it still touches a nerve. I’d like to believe that instead of pain and pain alone, love is bittersweet. For why else would anyone dream of being involved with it, right?

P.S. I totally blame my friend for this. I saw her tweet the link and after reading through it… gosh, the feelings, they are scattered everywhere. But I still stand by my take, that love IS bittersweet, and should not be painful.

Thought Catalog

When you love someone, it is not always going to be smiles and kisses and sunshine. That is the Hollywood bullshit that has been fed to us from the moment we were first placed in front of a Disney film. Real love is messy and painful and hauntingly beautiful. There were times I have been in love and felt elated, and there have been times where I realized I was in love far too late to rectify the faltering I had committed.

This is what I know about the painful kind of love,

When you’re in love you will feel out of your mind because after trying to be logical for so long, you’ll realize that you cannot rationalize this one feeling.

You’ll want to be a better person for them, and you’ll replay every mistake and over-think every flaw you have because you’re clawing at anything that will make…

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Stop Being So Afraid Of Loving Someone

Okay, now my TC reblogs are running the same theme. Already pointed this out before, but TC is rubbing salt to wounds that are not even supposed to be there. These articles make me cynical.

Thought Catalog

If the only things you knew about love were what you learned in romantic comedies, you would think that everyone was just waiting around to be in a burgeoning long-term relationship that you never actually see depicted onscreen.

In the movies, everyone is in love or falling in love or about to be in love, as soon as they drop that box of randomly assorted goods that a sex-haired guy with a cleft chin and hot guy cheeks is magically there to help them pick up. Neither of them will be ready for love until 90 minutes later, when they are finally ready and they can have a PG-13 kiss, the kind that will make the old women in the audience feel something in their wiggly bits without offending them. This isn’t Skins now.

I grew up on these movies and I thought that when I grew up, everyone would…

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A Quote That Will Completely Change The Way You Think About Love

So perhaps this is a running theme. My subsequent thought catalog reblogs points out the same thought: don’t be afraid of being the one who loves more, who showers the significant (or even the unrequited) one with affection. Yeah, TC is on a roll these days.

Thought Catalog

Recently I came across a love quote and up until this day I’m still quite surprised by how much it has made me reflect on the way I see love and how I love. The quote comes from a 1996 film called Dream for an Insomniac:

QuoteCatalog32

This quote grips me, because it’s antithetical to what I’d previously believed in. I had always advised my girlfriends, NEVER invest more than what you think the other party is putting in: “Don’t like/love him more than he likes/loves you.” Because it’s not safe for your heart. Because you might get hurt, you might fall too deep, you might lose control of your own emotions and thoughts. Because he might not be worth it after all.

But I was wrong. Now I know otherwise.

Love should be mad, reckless and dangerous. It ought to be! It should require your every ounce of courage…

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The One Who Cares Less

My friend made me read this earlier. I guess it’s relevant to what she’s going through, so it struck a chord. I just didn’t expect to be so affected by it as well.

Rather than caring less, oftentimes I pretend to do so even though I feel the opposite. I have the same thought on the matter as the author – letting your guard down means exposing yourself to potential hurt inflicted towards you. And so I don’t even try. Or so I tell myself.

But there are just times when avoidance is not enough; you can’t help but just feel things, even though you’d rather not. Add to that the fact that I’m admittedly socially awkward, not knowing how to express my emotions well. This just boils down to me being misunderstood by the people around me.

I guess, I may not be the one who cares less – I probably am the one who cares more. I’m just too afraid to show that I do. I really do.

Thought Catalog

I’ve often heard that people only start wanting you when they think that you don’t want them. It’s true; I’ve lived by it. Whether its business or friendships or especially romantic relationships, the person who cares less always seems to be the person who has the most power. At least that’s what it might feel like for the person that cares more. But I question whether this is true or not.

I have been called the, “queen of not giving a shit.” One of my many talents is that I am really good at both not actually caring, as well as acting like I don’t care. Just yesterday, some girlfriends and I were talking about boys and I quoted Almost Famous as my romance mantra, “If you never take it seriously, you never get hurt.” And it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve ultimately come off as cynical about relationships…

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The One Person You Never Really Get Over

Saving this read for a rainy day… because I don’t intend on reading it tonight :))

 

July 29,2013: Gosh. Though I skimmed some of the parts (yeah, I couldn’t really relate), there were excerpts that got to me. Like this one:

You’re not over this person probably because they could never love you back the way you wanted them to, the way you needed them to. They were a defective toy that couldn’t be fixed at the shop. This made you so angry and so sad and you tried just so damn hard and everyone knew it but it didn’t work. Not one bit. Because of this, your business with them will always seem unfinished. You couldn’t conquer them and seal the deal, which made getting any kind of closure difficult. Your closure needs to be done on your own. You have to accept that this person will never give you the answers you want them to.

Okay, I just quoted a whole passage. But part of the problem also lies in me; I’m too chicken to admit anything, and so this bottled up feelings never found an outlet for release. Maybe the next time we meet, I’ll be stronger. I can tell him, make fun of it, and then move on. Because honestly, I’m tired of going back over and over again to the same emotions when I know it’s a lost cause.

Thought Catalog

There will always be that one person you’ll never really get over. I know, I know, Connie Chung delivering groundbreaking news over here, but it’s true. Sure, you can go days, weeks, months, years without thinking of them but the second you see their face or their name gets mentioned in passing, your stomach drops and you feel like you could puke. You’ve lost control and all of these feelings suddenly rise to the surface to say, “Sup? Have you missed us?’ You’ll hate yourself for this, for all of it. You won’t be able to recognize why this one person can still garner this type of reaction. Why is your mind punking you? It almost feels like a betrayal. You want to give your emotions a stern talking to and say, “Um, hi. I thought we were over this? So why am I getting super nervous and spazzy at…

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Something to look forward to when every prospect seems bleak. *sigh*

Thought Catalog

Sorry guys. I’m wearing my Carrie Bradshaw pants today. They just fit so good right now for some reason.

A few weeks ago I was having lunch with my friend and we were talking about where we felt like we were in our lives. Yeah, it was that kind of lunch. Not the fun, flirty, gossipy kind but the “This may end in tears so we should probs get some dessert” kind. I told her that I felt like I finally got my professional life in order this year but as a result, the world took a giant dump on my personal life. (Which is interesting in itself because my professional life requires me to write about my personal life. Ugh, this has been a really weird year and I’ll tell you more about that later.) My friend, meanwhile, is in a great relationship. The kind that seems too good…

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