My friend made me read this earlier. I guess it’s relevant to what she’s going through, so it struck a chord. I just didn’t expect to be so affected by it as well.
Rather than caring less, oftentimes I pretend to do so even though I feel the opposite. I have the same thought on the matter as the author – letting your guard down means exposing yourself to potential hurt inflicted towards you. And so I don’t even try. Or so I tell myself.
But there are just times when avoidance is not enough; you can’t help but just feel things, even though you’d rather not. Add to that the fact that I’m admittedly socially awkward, not knowing how to express my emotions well. This just boils down to me being misunderstood by the people around me.
I guess, I may not be the one who cares less – I probably am the one who cares more. I’m just too afraid to show that I do. I really do.
I’ve often heard that people only start wanting you when they think that you don’t want them. It’s true; I’ve lived by it. Whether its business or friendships or especially romantic relationships, the person who cares less always seems to be the person who has the most power. At least that’s what it might feel like for the person that cares more. But I question whether this is true or not.
I have been called the, “queen of not giving a shit.” One of my many talents is that I am really good at both not actually caring, as well as acting like I don’t care. Just yesterday, some girlfriends and I were talking about boys and I quoted Almost Famous as my romance mantra, “If you never take it seriously, you never get hurt.” And it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve ultimately come off as cynical about relationships…
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