Saving this read for a rainy day… because I don’t intend on reading it tonight :))
July 29,2013: Gosh. Though I skimmed some of the parts (yeah, I couldn’t really relate), there were excerpts that got to me. Like this one:
You’re not over this person probably because they could never love you back the way you wanted them to, the way you needed them to. They were a defective toy that couldn’t be fixed at the shop. This made you so angry and so sad and you tried just so damn hard and everyone knew it but it didn’t work. Not one bit. Because of this, your business with them will always seem unfinished. You couldn’t conquer them and seal the deal, which made getting any kind of closure difficult. Your closure needs to be done on your own. You have to accept that this person will never give you the answers you want them to.
Okay, I just quoted a whole passage. But part of the problem also lies in me; I’m too chicken to admit anything, and so this bottled up feelings never found an outlet for release. Maybe the next time we meet, I’ll be stronger. I can tell him, make fun of it, and then move on. Because honestly, I’m tired of going back over and over again to the same emotions when I know it’s a lost cause.
There will always be that one person you’ll never really get over. I know, I know, Connie Chung delivering groundbreaking news over here, but it’s true. Sure, you can go days, weeks, months, years without thinking of them but the second you see their face or their name gets mentioned in passing, your stomach drops and you feel like you could puke. You’ve lost control and all of these feelings suddenly rise to the surface to say, “Sup? Have you missed us?’ You’ll hate yourself for this, for all of it. You won’t be able to recognize why this one person can still garner this type of reaction. Why is your mind punking you? It almost feels like a betrayal. You want to give your emotions a stern talking to and say, “Um, hi. I thought we were over this? So why am I getting super nervous and spazzy at…
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