Hurt

This doesn’t make sense to me, but… I felt a pang of jealousy when I saw a picture of two of my high school classmates on Facebook. Right now I’m feeling as if there’s dead weight in my chest and I can’t properly breathe. I didn’t care when I saw them looking all sweet in the photo; I didn’t really mind it. But the use of the term “Frenemy” – that’s the thing that really got to me. “Frenemy” is supposed to be our thing. We called each other that because we didn’t know how to define our relationship. Huh, called. Fancy that. I didn’t realize right away that we don’t do that anymore.

I mean, this is the guy I’ve known all my life, but I’ve never felt as if he treated me the same way. One of my complaints is that we didn’t have a single photo last year; although he claims we did, just that it got erased, I laugh when he make light of it but I mind it a lot. I sometimes feel he’s ashamed to be associated with me, ever since we were young, only treating me as a friend when there are no spectators around. I remember when we were in grade school, he would always make me cry when we’re at school but would enthusiastically play with me when we visit each other’s houses. I also feel like I put in more effort to keep in touch, and he just entertains me because he doesn’t want me to feel bad. For this to make more sense, I’m referring to the guy in my entry titled January 4th that I’ll be posting a little later. Whoever is reading this, please don’t misunderstand. I’m not interested in him romantically; I just… I wish he doesn’t take me for granted. Just because I’m always here for him doesn’t give him the right to make me feel this way.

P.S. For added context, the girl was the one to post the picture. NOT the guy. Hope I made it clear.

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